*Please note that some of the content in this blog could be confronting. If this impacts you, please seek help (see below, as this is critical) or contact my team at LeadershipHQ.
I had failed my daughter. Why? Because I had expectations about what I felt she should be or needed to live a good life, like finishing school, attending university, and getting a job. That was supposed to be the pathway. Things drastically changed when she got bullied at school and online.
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Here is my story.
Imagine coming home from work and seeing your child suffering.
Imagine calling an ambulance hysterically, needing help, as your daughter’s mental health has taken a turn for the worse. Imagine calling every hospital, counsellor, psychologist and psychiatrist around the state only to be told we can’t support teenagers and people under 18 years old or going to the hospital 30 times.
Imagine having to go to work because you are the only one who can put food on the table and a roof over our heads. Imagine the heartbreaking guilt of it because you need to make money and have no one to help. You leave for work, not knowing what will happen when you return home to the most precious person in the world.
Imagine your child being so depressed and anxious that she leaves school at 14 years old, as PTSD is beyond deliberating. We couldn’t even get support and help from the school, and we didn’t want to know about it.
Imagine this chain of events being due to severe bullying at school and online because people you trust and care about decide to tear you down, hassle you online, or attack you because you are different and kind.
This was my daughter. The heartbreaking guilt, heartache, and grief were unbearable—not as unbearable as what she went through. I felt like I failed her a million times.
Today, she is doing more than okay and is the most courageous person I know. She studies social work today and could be Prime Minister with her convictions, courage, and kindness. It took a lot of work and courage to get to where she is today.
There I was, not only as her mother and guide who lives and breathes the leadership, courage, and kindness space for so many, but I couldn’t help her. It took every ounce of courage I had inside of me to love and support her.
The thing is, and I know many, many children who are and have gone through something similar. So many parents and guardians have or are experiencing the same grief – it happens too often, not only with our precious children but as adults in the workplace and online as well.
The bullying, tearing and pulling each other down…the yelling and screaming….the fear cultures? Really. Why does this have to happen? Why is this still happening?
Why?
Can we not see how our words, actions, and choices impact others?
It is heartbreaking and unnecessary.
We are all someone’s child and all human beings with the right to be shown love, kindness, empathy, compassion, and respect.
In turn, bullying and tearing each other down are so prevalent on social media and on our news and media sites and platforms that our youth, future generations, and leaders are seeing this. Does this not impact them?
We do what we see.
We do what we see.
The impact this has on anyone’s mental well-being can be truly destructive. Please stop this. It’s got to stop. #itsgottostop
Why am I sharing this?
I wanted you to know you are not alone. We will remain genuinely vulnerable, authentically share, and courageously fight to overcome this behavior and lack of leadership.
We will do everything we can to build and create a world of kind, courageous, and inclusive leaders. This is also why we are passionate about teenage and youth mental well-being. This is why we love working with corporations, businesses, schools, and universities to build great leaders of today and tomorrow. This is why we do what we do at LeadershipHQ—to create and develop great leaders, cultures, and teams worldwide who want to lead the way as leaders and organisations that love and care for their people and culture.
Leadership is the key. It starts with us.
This is why I have been speaking on stage worldwide and using my voice for many years to champion and inspire as many people as possible to lead with kindness and courage.
This was also the catalyst for us to build the Global Outstanding Leadership Awards, as we want to shine a light on the leadership needed today and beyond—this is our crusade. We need more examples of outstanding, kind, and courageous leadership so our youth and future generations can be inspired and know there is hope.
I want our children—yours and mine—to see that there are people who lead with empathy, kindness, and compassion and who make a difference in today’s world.
We do what we see. We want the world to see kindness and courage.
The thing is, I thought I had failed her, and then my daughter, at 20, told me while crying that now she sees how amazing I was juggling a business and motherhood.
Why are we so harsh on ourselves as mothers? As I know today, I never failed her. I wasn’t perfect. Today, she is the kindest, warmest, smartest, funniest, and beautiful human and daughter. Everything I shared was part of her growth and journey; she is kind and courageous.
Finally, my love and heart go out to anyone who has encountered or has a loved one who has experienced bullying and mental health challenges due to toxic and poor leadership, words, and actions – please know you are braver and stronger than you think. There is help and support out there. Places like Your Town, LifeLine, Headspace, and Beyond Blue are unique and beautiful supports.
Please ask for help and be courageous enough not to accept or ignore this behavior…. I promise that you will be much stronger when you ask for help and overcome anything like this.
Please reach out and always be kind to yourself…and others.
Kindness and courage are contagious.
Love and kindness always, Sonia x
By Sonia McDonald – CEO of LeadershipHQ and Outstanding Leadership Awards, Leadership Coach, Global Keynote Speaker, Entrepreneur, CEO, And Award Winning Author.
