Telling a little white lie here and there in a friendship isn’t necessarily a bad thing – after all, we don’t want to hurt our friends’ feelings, right? It’s much kinder to say you do like their new hairstyle, even if you think it’s unflattering…isn’t it?
Wrong.
I’m here to tell you why being clear is undeniably kinder.
Before we go any further, we have to talk about who inspired me to start looking at clarity in this new way. I’m a huge fan of Brene Brown, the University of Houston research professor who has studied shame, empathy, vulnerability and courage over the last 20 years. She applies her findings to helping improve leadership skills, and has written a range of books including the incredible Dare to Lead.
When I first heard her talk about ‘Unclear is unkind. Clear is kind.’ I was blown away. It seemed so simple; we may tell ourselves that being unclear is being kind, but it’s actually the opposite. When you avoid being clear, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and those you’re speaking with. You’re not doing them a kindness, you’re being unfair and just plain not nice!
Going back to Brown’s book, Dare to Lead, she makes some interesting points about this very topic. She came to these conclusions after her seven year study into what the future of leadership will look like:
- Speak to people, not about them – to do otherwise is not kind.
- Telling people white lies or omitting part of the truth to spare their feelings isn’t kind like you think it is – almost every time, it’s more about making yourself feel comfortable.
- We avoid hard conversations by saying ‘I get it. I’m on it.’ and running away, because it’s more pleasant for us than dealing with anything tough.
- When you don’t clearly communicate your expectations to your colleague because you think it’s too difficult, but then you take them to task for not doing what you asked – that’s being unkind.
Notice a pattern? We’re not being kind by being unclear, we’re trying to protect ourselves from feeling discomfort. This form of protection is harmful to ourselves and, as I mentioned, is not being kind to others either.
The answer to becoming clearer and therefore kinder (as well as a better leader).
It’s to be brave, embrace the fact that life will be uncomfortable at times, and be clear in your communication. This doesn’t mean you get to throw the idea of tact out the window. It simply means that having the courage to be clear is one of the most important things as a leader. If you can’t communicate with clarity, then you can’t get the best results from yourself or those you lead.
Partial messages and half-truths do no one any good. You may feel ‘better’ for having avoided feeling uncomfortable, but you haven’t been kind to the other person. Leadership is about doing your best for others just as much as for yourself. Be brave and be clear to be kind.
If you would love to know more about how to be a kind and courageous leader or hear me speak at your event or organisation, please contact me at sonia@soniamcdonald.com.au
About Sonia
Sonia McDonald believes we should lead with kindness, from the heart, doing rather than telling and is known for her mantra ‘Just lead’. She leads by example in all these areas and through her one on one practical coaching, leadership training for teams and organisations encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped hundreds of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn, inspire and bring out the best in others.
For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of HR. She has held leadership positions worldwide and through experience, research and study come to realise what it takes to be a truly great leader.
Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She is recognised as a LinkedIn influencer and has become an in-demand keynote speaker, starts important conversations.
She is an award-winning published author and writes regularly for publications such as The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. Sonia has become recognised for her commentary around the topic of leadership, developing work-life balance, championing the up and coming leaders of tomorrow and advocating for women in business and male-dominated industries.
Keynote Topics
Sonia will give you peace of mind when booking a speaker. She is a proven world-class professional speaker with the skills to “rock an audience”. Her energy, empathy, kindness, sensitivity, and humour will enhance any event she appears.
1. Leadership Attitude
2. Just Rock It
3. Leadership for Small Business
4. Leading the Next Generations
5. Courageous Leadership
6. Future Leaders of Leadership
7. New Kindness of Leadership
Phone 1300 719 665 or +61 424 447 616
leadership course
leadership course free trial online
leadership course harvard business school
leadership courses for managers
basic leadership course
leadership crash course
online leadership course
leadership courses melbourne
leadership courses sydney
management and leadership course online free trial
leadership skills online course free trial
strategic leadership free online course trial
leadership development programs harvard business school
organizational leadership course
strategic leadership course
leadership training courses for managers
leadership courses for new managers
leadership courses for project managers
leadership courses for middle managers
leadership courses for senior managers
best leadership courses for managers
leadership development program for managers
leadership training program for managers
leadership program for new managers
leadership reaction course events
leadership reaction course manual
leadership reaction course army
leadership reaction course ideas
leadership reaction course answers
leadership reaction course solutions
leadership reaction course ocs
leadership reaction course usmc
basic leadership course requirements
basic leadership course reflective essay
online leadership courses
online leadership courses queensland
online leadership courses free trial
online leadership courses with certificate
online leadership courses for high school students
online leadership courses australia
leadership and management courses online free
leadership training videos online free
free leadership courses online australia
harvard online leadership courses free
free nursing leadership courses online
free online leadership courses for high school students
leadership courses melbourne online
leadership courses melbourne
leadership training melbourne
leadership programs melbourne
womens leadership courses melbourne
womens leadership courses sydney
womens leadership courses brisbane
womens leadership courses adelaide
executive leadership courses melbourne
executive leadership courses sydney
executive leadership courses brisbane
executive leadership courses adelaide
leadership development courses sydney
leadership courses workshops sydney
leadership course sydney
leadership coaching course sydney
leadership course north sydney
leadership and management courses sydney
leadership and management short courses
women in leadership
programs for women
keynote speaker
motivational speaker
emerging leaders
courageous leadership
sonia mcdonald
courses for women
executive coach
leadership coach
advisor
