fbpx

What is Your Female Inner Critic Archetype?

Have you heard of archetypes? Female archetype inner critics often carry messages tied to societal expectations, cultural norms, and gender-specific pressures. These archetypes can reflect women’s unique challenges, such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and balancing multiple roles. Check out some Leadership archetypes below, too.

Here are some common female inner critic archetypes and ways to overcome them:

1. The Good Girl

  • Focus: Driven by a need to be liked, to avoid conflict, and to seek approval by always being kind, agreeable, and compliant.
  • Voice: “Don’t make waves,” “Be nice, don’t upset anyone,” “What will they think?”
  • Impact: Causes women to prioritize others’ needs over their own, leading to resentment and suppression of authentic expression.
  • Overcoming: Practice setting boundaries and expressing your needs, even if it means saying no. Embrace your voice and the value of speaking your truth, even if it causes discomfort to others.
  • Affirmation: “I am worthy of expressing my needs and standing in my truth.”

2. The Superwoman

  • Focus: Feels responsible for doing everything perfectly and managing multiple roles—career, family, and relationships—without breaking a sweat.
  • Voice: “You have to do it all,” “You can’t let anyone down,” “If you don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”
  • Impact: This leads to burnout, exhaustion, and an inability to ask for help or delegate, coupled with feelings of failure when falling short.
  • Overcoming: Delegate tasks and recognise that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Let go of “having it all” and embrace imperfection.
  • Affirmation: “I deserve support, and I release the need to do everything myself.”

3. The Pleaser

  • Focus: Always putting others first, driven by a deep need to be liked, accepted, and never be seen as selfish.
  • Voice: “Don’t be selfish,” “You should make sure everyone is happy,” “What if they don’t like you?”
  • Impact: It leads to self-sacrifice, over-commitment, and the erosion of personal boundaries, resulting in frustration and diminished self-worth.
  • Overcoming: Practice saying no and prioritizing your well-being without feeling guilty. Understand that being liked by everyone is impossible and does not define your worth.
  • Affirmation: “I am valuable, even when prioritising my needs.”

4. The Martyr

  • Focus: Sacrifices personal well-being for the sake of others, often believing that suffering is a sign of virtue or love.
  • Voice: “You should put others first,” “If you care, you’ll sacrifice,” “Your needs don’t matter as much as theirs.”
  • Impact: This leads to chronic overextension, neglect of self-care, and eventually resentment toward those being cared for.
  • Overcoming: Reclaim your right to self-care and recognise that nurturing yourself allows you to better support others. Balance giving with receiving and acknowledge that your needs are as important as those you care for.
  • Affirmation: “I honour myself by caring for my needs first.”

5. The Queen Bee

  • Focus: Feels a need to be in control and perfect at all times, often driven by fear of being outshone or threatened by other women.
  • Voice: “You must be better than them,” “Don’t let anyone take your place,” “You’re not enough unless you’re the best.”
  • Impact: Creates competition, distrust, and isolation from potential allies, especially among women.
  • Overcoming: Shift from competition to collaboration, recognizing that other women’s success does not diminish your own. Celebrate the achievements of others and build mutually supportive relationships.
  • Affirmation: “There is room for all women to thrive, and I rise by lifting others.”

6. The Imposter

  • Focus: Feels inadequate despite success, convinced that any achievements are a fluke and that she’ll be exposed as a fraud.
  • Voice: “You don’t belong here,” “They’ll find out you’re not qualified,” “You’re just pretending.”
  • Impact: Prevents women from recognizing their value, leads to overworking to prove worth, and creates fear of failure or exposure.
  • Overcoming: Acknowledge your accomplishments and the skills and efforts that led you there. Reframe failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reflection of worth.
  • Affirmation: “I am worthy of my success, and I confidently embrace my achievements.”

7. The Criticiser

  • Focus: Hyper-critical of physical appearance, often reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards and societal expectations of femininity.
  • Voice: “You’re not thin enough,” “You don’t look young anymore,” “You’re not attractive.”
  • Impact: This leads to negative body image, low self-esteem, and constant comparison to others, often causing anxiety around aging or beauty.
  • Overcoming: Practice body positivity by focusing on what your body allows you to do rather than how it looks. Reject societal pressures and embrace self-acceptance, celebrating your uniqueness.
  • Affirmation: “I love and accept my body, just as it is.”

8. The Caretaker

  • Focus: Feels obligated to care for everyone around her, often taking on the emotional labour for family, friends, or colleagues.
  • Voice: “You’re responsible for everyone’s well-being,” “You can’t let anyone down,” “What if they need you?”
  • Impact: Causes emotional exhaustion, as the constant caretaking leaves little energy for self-care or personal pursuits.
  • Overcoming: Set emotional boundaries and allow others to take responsibility for their well-being. Practice self-care without guilt and remind yourself that you are not solely responsible for others’ happiness.
  • Affirmation: “I am not responsible for others’ emotions, and I deserve to care for myself.”

General Strategies to Overcome Female Inner Critic Archetypes:

  1. Reframe Negative Narratives Replace self-critical thoughts with affirming ones that reflect your true value and worth.
  2. Cultivate Self-Compassion. Practice treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend.
  3. Challenge Societal Expectations Recognize and reject unrealistic gender roles and societal pressures that fuel the inner critic.
  4. Build a Support Network Surround yourself with people who uplift you and help you see your strengths rather than reinforcing the inner critic’s messages.
  5. Embrace Authenticity Shift from trying to meet others’ expectations to honouring your values, desires, and unique path.

Guess what! I was the Pleaser and Sometimes even the Queen Bee

As a former pleaser and occasional queen bee, I focussed on building self-affirmation, setting healthy boundaries, and shifting from competition to collaboration.

Here are a couple of specific strategies for both archetypes:

For the Pleaser:

  • Set Boundaries with Confidence: Practice saying no when needed, and remember that taking care of your needs is not selfish but essential.
  • Internal Validation: Seek approval from within rather than from external sources. Remind yourself that you don’t need to please everyone to be worthy.

For the Queen Bee:

  • Collaboration Over Competition: Focus on building relationships based on support and trust with others, especially women. Recognise that others’ success does not diminish your own.
  • Celebrate Others’ Wins: Actively seek opportunities to praise and uplift others. This mindset can dissolve any lingering competitive edge.

Which archetype are you?

— SHARE THIS
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
WhatsApp

WRITTEN BY

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE